Free Delivery Thursday to Saturday On Orders Over £30

Can Friends Be Spiritual Directors?

You, my buddy, are an inspiration! Many people become stuck because they make some progress, feel satisfied, and then complacent, and then, well, things normally don’t go as planned. The Lord warns the lukewarm that they shall be spit out of his mouth in the book of Revelation (3:16). To begin, there is never a time when you are too old to begin, never a time when you are too old to fight, never a time when you are too old to love and be loved, never a time when you are too old to make spiritual progress, never a time when you are free of sin, imperfection, and blind spots, and thus never a time when you are too old for spiritual direction. In fact, because you are closer to the Lord than you have ever been (in terms of time), it is even more critical that you do your best to be ready to meet him face to face.

The spiritual direction might come out of the context of Friendship. There is a reason God has brought you together – but probably a different reason than what you might think. A few reasons why your friends can be your Spiritual


Friendship leads itself to emotional ties by its very nature. How do you recognize when you’ve crossed the line from healthy interdependence to attachment? The best indicator is when emotions start to obstruct dialogue on a daily basis. Healthy relationships have an element of detachment that allows the director to perceive and diagnose without the emotional clouding that can occur in friendships (more about this in a minute).

Healthy friendships are, by definition, motivating. They concentrate on the positive aspects of each individual. This suggests that conflict isn’t a common occurrence. It doesn’t mean that it should be true, but it is almost always true. As a result, when friends enter spiritual direction relationships, the director is justified in judging (making judgments) and suggesting adjustments (providing direction), which triggers emotions in the directee and makes the connection seem less safe than previously. This is a challenging obstacle to overcome.

When a director is a friend, we are more likely to feel obligated to ensure that they have a favorable impression of us. As a result, when they make judgments, we feel scrutinized (in a negative way) and are inclined to start nitpicking over little inaccuracies. In this instance, the director is likely to be unimpressed. This emotion stems from a sense of pride and vanity, as well as a need for praise (sometimes from both sides of the relationship).

We don’t see blind spots or delusions because we don’t see them — we can’t see them on our own. This is frequently the case due to our familiarity with them. Have you recently examined your vehicle closely? Take a walk around it. Make a mental note of every scratch, ding, or imperfection. Why don’t you see those on a daily basis? This is due to the fact that things have become “normal” for you. The defects are present, but everyday exposure dulls our perception of them (unless, of course, we are obsessive about such things). Spiritual defects go away because we see them every day and consider them to be normal. Friendships might be affected in the same way. If we have flaws or attachments that do not irritate our friends, they will become invisible to them, and they will be unable to assist us in overcoming them. Worse yet, when they have the same flaw or fault as ourselves, we are encouraged to continue in our own sin and weakness. This is a regular occurrence when it comes to the sin of gossip. Because they are so close to us, or because they are so much like us, or because they habitually participate in the sin or dysfunction with us, our blind spots become theirs.

All of this is to say that spiritual friendships are extremely strong and significant. After taking a break for a bit, you and your friend will be able to revive a healthy spiritual connection. You can achieve this by joining them in a spiritual reading and discussion group.

Download our app on Google Play Store